Dear Blog,

I have had a very productive day. But it has been hot as hell, so I have done things which required as little movement as necessary -- painting chairs, carving ceramic tiles, writing.  And thinking.  Thinking about one thing mainly.  I can't seem to get it off of my mind.

About being fearless.

See, a friend of mine screeched at me recently when I was feeling blue and sorry for myself.  She screeched that now is the time to push, to move forward, to be fearless.  And fearless is what I want.  But I want to listen too. Listen to myself, my innermost voice, my God Spark.  I want to listen to my Highest Thought, not my deepest fear.  

One thing I have heard my God Spark say -- loud and clear. I have a tendency to do a lot of things and finish only few of them.  I will be starting less things. But I will be finishing more of them.  Taking things through to fruition.  Improving my skills.  That sort of thing.

Dear blog, you know what I mean.  I want to reap the benefits of my talents. I want to rejoice in my own creativity, not stopping short out of fear.  When someone says, oh, show me more of your art, I want to have more art to show.  My inner most self tells me that is a good thing.  

I want to give more thanks for all that is.  There is so much to be thankful for.  And one of those things to be thankful for is friends that remind us to be fearless.  Because there really is nothing to fear.  

DIY From Ugly Duckling to Swan with a little Paint

I had six of them. Six of the ugliest chairs you could imagine.  They were - ehem - brown but the brown stain had worn off long ago, and I had not gotten around around to restaining them.  Partially because I hated the brown to begin with.  They were not bad chairs, as chairs go, but they were ruining the look of everything for me.  Unkempt.  Not in keeping with my aesthetic philosophy.

But chucking six functioning chairs and buying new is definitely not my philosophy.  I am into restoration.  So, one by one, I painted the chairs and the foot rests a stony white, and the transformation is really dramatic.  

So, in the heat, I stayed in the shade, getting very Zen about the art of chair painting, dipping in the pool when I could not focus any more.    The chairs now reflect their Scandinavian roots and add to the overall appearance of things.  Now I am thinking about making some new covers for the chair pads.... but that will be another project for another day.

Love in My Life

Sometimes lessons fall on us hard, hard like a rock on soft ground.  While I always have considered myself a pretty fast and adaptable learner, there are some things which I turn away from, ignore, or just simply don't hear.  It's not  because I don't want to, but it's often because I simply can't believe that things are other than the way I have built them up to be in my head.  The last several weeks, however, have been a time when I have had to admit to myself that I do not have all the answers like I might have thought, that life might function in a different way than I had imagined.  I am humbled by what I am learning.  I knew these things all along, but ignored my own instincts, until it was impossible to go on.   Here, in a little nutshell, are some of the discoveries I have made:

Example One.  I have always been one of those nose-to-the-grindstone people.  Keep on working, keep on doing.  While a good work ethic is not necessarily a bad thing, I grossly, and I mean grossly, underestimated the need for relaxation.  Our bodies and minds cannot unite with our soul if we are not still and quiet.  I learned this the hard way, working myself into a place where there was nothing but emptiness, and I could no longer figure out why I was doing it.  We need to listen to ourselves.  Even if we have taken on things which are all-encompassing, a little scary and a tremendous amount of work, we need to be able to step back.

Example Two.  Worrying will hurt you.  It will.  We worry about everything, don't we?  How much the electric bill will be, if our family will stay healthy, if we have enough to retire.  We worry today away.  Things always happen differently than you think.  I have always known this, spouted it off on numerous occasions, but it came back to rest with me in the last weeks.  In the wise words of Nancy Greer, my best friend since we were five years old,  things have a way of working themselves out.  I am trying to unlearn my knee jerk worry reaction, which has caused me only aggravation, and has paralyzed me into inaction. I am learning to put worry and anxiety aside, to let it be there, not to deny it, but to move on with what I have to do. This takes discipline, but it is a habit, just like worrying is a habit.  I want to do this to improve the quality of my life.  Worry and anxiety rob joyful moments!

Example Three.  I am overwhelmed by the amount of love which I have in my life.  I never, ever want to take a moment, a thought, or a gesture for granted.  From my husband and my family, to my friends, to my beloved guests (who have made me laugh, encouraged me, written unbelievable reviews, trusted me), to my dog and my neighbors, I am surrounded with love.  When I brood, or worry, or fear,  I miss out all of that love.  We need to notice and absorb all the love in our lives so we can reflect it back!

Example Four. I can see, clearly now, that I am only one human and that if I don't take good care of myself, I won't be able to create, do, give, love, cook, be in the ways that I am capable.  And this is true for us all.  Listen carefully to yourself. Learn when you need to say no, and then say it!  Often if necessary!  Don't wait until you collapse in a heap before you learn what your limits are. 

My dearest blog readers, I wish you peace and tranquillity, and the knowledge that everything really will be ok. Honestly.  

The New Wine Cellar

Finally... the first photographs....

Well, it's almost finished... plaster must dry completely and then I will be making a gallery out of the upper level -- but here are some photos to show how things basically came out....  It is a very dramatic space which incorporates industrial and historical elements.  

Julia and Jay

We've been busy!  First of all, for now, all water problems seem to be solved.  We might need to buy a new furnace (drat) but maybe not for awhile -- the repair guy got this "old" (hey, it's only 6!!) one working again.  Not without some inconvenience to our VERY lovely and patient guests,  Julia Russell and Jay Goldsmith, professional photographers from New Hampshire.   Julia specializes in gorgeous wedding photos, and Jay, well, you simply have to go to his website and take a look at his work -- simply stunning.

The two of them photographed Micha, Max, myself, the kitchen and the pottery studio -- we are so excited to have had these two wonderful people here -- and they did not even complain one little bit about not having hot water for part of their stay.  In fact, Jay said, "AH, hot water is overrated...."  

Have I mentioned that our guests are our biggest blessing?

Julia and Jay's photos of our house will be used to send out to publications for the B&B.    How exciting!

Now we are guest free and soaking up some well deserved rest, and doing some much needed maintenance around the house.  The electricians will be here this week, and I will be able to shoot some pictures of the new wine cellar...  Micha is busy stocking it...

Buona giornata, tutti....

If you are Interested in Piemontese Wines...

...here is an article I recently wrote for Slow Travel on three wineries in Southwestern Piemonte!

Murphy Left...

The hot water heater guy repaired the boiler and left about a half hour before the guests rolled up the hill...

Life is good...

Murphy's Law, Done to Perfection

OK!  Enough is enough!  I know, another one for that what doesn't kill you category.

We have guests coming today.  Seem like lovely people.  

On Saturday afternoon, I was on my computer and noticed the power was off in our house.  It was an auspicious time:  4.30.  Since we have owned the house, we have had maybe 20-25 occasions where the electricity has gone out on a sunny summer day at 4.30. The last time was two weeks ago.  Because we have had so many issues with electricity in the main house harking back to the original electrician (remember this post?), we isolated the hot water heater on the circuit breaker a couple of years ago.    And two weeks ago, it was the hot water heater that caused the main circuit to break.

At 4.30.

We had guests then, patient, lovely guests, who did not mind that the hot water was out for the evening.  The electricians and plumber came in the morning, adjusted something, and all seemed well with the world.  Until Saturday afternoon.  

So I called the boys again, and they said they would come up first thing on Monday morning.  I started fretting.  Guests would be arriving on Monday. I called another local B&B and made sure that they have room.  They do.  

Yesterday morning I got up and steeled myself for a cold shower.  I turned the water on.  Nothing.  No hot water, no cold water, no water at all.  I was beginning to get paranoid.  Was someone trying to tell me something?  I got on the phone with AMAG, our local water utility.  They had no calls from anyone having a problem in my neighborhood, but would send someone up.  We scrambled to make sure the last water bill was paid, which it was.  The guy from AMAG arrived, and sure enough, they had gotten some more calls.  It seemed that a 50 year old reservoir had busted and left one entire side Acqui waterless overnight.  They were working on the repair.  We should have water in a few hours.

We waited all day, we waited all night.  Still no water at 6 this morning.  At 7.30 the electricians arrived.  At 10, I started to hear sputtering and air coming through the water pipes.

Verdict on the hot water heater:  the hot water heater is located in a closet behind the house, enclosed with a metal door.  Apparently, when the sun hits it, around 4 pm, it heats up to inferno temperature in there.  This effects the electronics of the water heater, which trip the circuit.  It has taken us five years to figure this out, which is embarrassing.  Well, this time, it was one time too many.  The electronic part has to be replaced.  And we have already installed four inch thick styrofoam insulation inside the door to keep it from heating up in there again.

So it is now 1 pm,  the guests are getting here at 6 or so.  The plumber is going to try to repair it today, but if they have to order the part it will not happen.  I have two options for the guests -- either they stay here and I heat up water for them to wash their hair and pour over themselves or they can stay at the other B&B and use our pool.  More than this I cannot do. 

At least we have water.  Which, at this point, seems to me to be a very big deal.

But another valuable lesson has been learned, and we have resolved a problem which has been dogging us for a long time -- the 4.30 circuit breaker!  Murphy, please go away now.

Mangia!

The summer has hit like crazy, and we are getting ready for a sprinkling of guests to come in the next several weeks.  I have promised to take it easy, which I plan to -- but you have to eat and so I am happy and grateful to be able to prepare these kinds of snacks when hungry travelers arrive home.  Easy and beautiful, and very appreciated.  

We are going crazy trying to get the last of the construction dust swept up - and nothing is really finished -- doors are missing, windows too, but little by little it will all come together. 

Besides, who notices a missing door when there is food on the table?

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been

Hi, there.

Well, it has been a wild ride, my friends, and I am slowly coming back to a place where I can write again and share.  Thank you for your comments, your concerns, and your thoughts.  The construction project started to close down around me like a vice, and I had to come to grips with a couple of pretty serious realities in the last two weeks.  Not surprisingly, they have to do with accepting one's own limits.  

First of all,  let me start with the results.  The wine cellar is completed. We have also decided to suspend all future construction work for the next period in time, live with our two beautiful guest rooms, our new kitchen and our pool for the 2010 season.  The reason is simple.  After the year I had, I am simply tired.  I cannot fathom the idea of closing this B&B down in October and seeing the construction truck come up the hill the next day.  My brain closed shut when I thought about it, and my body followed suit.  And when your mind and your body shut down, it is time to start listening to your soul. In this case my soul was saying, "Time to stop, Diana."

I am so relieved to have come to this conclusion.  What worries me is that I let myself get so exhausted before we made the decision. I have to learn to start listening to myself.  If I don't, this project does not continue.  It can't.  So I have to stay healthy.  And so do you.  This is a message to all of you.  Learn your limits before your limits stop you in your tracks.  Because they will.

The barn was becoming my nemesis, my worst nightmare, because I was letting it and its restructuring control my every thought.  I now see that the barn is just a barn.  If we get it done someday, fine.  If not, someone else will finish it.  I am making it my mantra to not worry about it anymore.  It is something that will take care of itself.

Something else happened in this time.  Our neighbor and best friend here, Franco Parodi, who is the farmer across the road, is seriously ill. He is the person who taught Micha to use a chain saw, who planted my sunflowers, who has helped us in so many ways and directions that I don't know where to start.  We are in shock.  We can only pray at this point.

That was my wake up call.  I have decided that losing my health, my precious health, over a barn is just, well, ridiculous. I am letting myself heal though, because my body and mind are more exhausted than I ever imagined possible.  We are not heavily booked for June and July because we were going to try to get that third room done before all the permission problems started, and I had originally scheduled our opening for August.  I am going to take this as a blessing instead of being scared of the financial repercussions.

I am going to lay by my pool.  I am going to pet my dog. I am going to hold hands with my husband.  I am going to sleep. I am going to read.  I am going to eat only healthy foods.  I am going to rest.  If I want to create I will but I will not be driven to it.

The guests we have will have a relaxed me instead of perfectly weeded flower beds. 

Thank you for being here, for waiting for me.  I might not be writing as often right now as I have in the past, but I will try to bring insights from this part of my journey on a hill in Italy.